Sam once more sat at her computer, but this time she was being
barraged with comments on her stories. She had bitten the bullet and
posted them on her journal. The feedback she was getting was pretty
great. All of her friends liked the stories, but none of them had
the slightest idea what she was talking about. She reserved this
journal only for her online friends to view because she really
couldn’t handle her friends in real life knowing everything about
her that came out in her very personal musings. This was the safest
way for her to play her emotional cards while still maintaining some
dignity.

Only her newest online buddy, had been able to shed some light on
her recent writings. She didn’t know much about the girl, only
that
she was eighteen, lived in Seattle, and was a journalism major in
college. Her screen name was Sprites_Muse. She had suggested that
Sam not let her thoughts get in the way of her emotions.

"Sometimes if you look too hard for the answers, you loose the
ones
you have already."

That comment had made Sam smile. She liked the way this girl
thought. She hit reply and typed out a short message.

"Thanks."

It had helped her to find some little patch of stability, that is
until she heard the door open downstairs. The remote to her stereo
lay across the room. Her body flattened as she lunged across the bed
to retrieve it before she had to hear Brooke and Harrison. She hit
play and let Sarah McLachlan waft through the room. She only
listened to this when she was to the point that depressing music
made her feel less depressed. She had looked for the CD for a half
hour before deciding to check in Brooke`s room and there she
found
it, among her crazy un-themed collection.

How could the girl have an A*Teens CD. She planned to tease her to
no end about her incriminating discoveries when she was in a better
mood. Even more disturbing than that she had found Christina
Aguilara’s first album tucked away behind all the others. At
least
the A*Teens had the semi-cool Europop thing going for them. She
hoped that at least some of the questionable music choices that she
had found in Brooke’s room had been gifts.

She put "Plenty" on repeat and settled back into her desk
chair.
Then fumbled un-necessarily with her track pad settings in
frustration. She hoped that Brooke and Harrison didn’t feel a
need
to come and socialize with her any time soon. There weren’t any
more
reasons she could think for her to logically be mad at him. She
would be forced to confront her true feelings or feel horrible for
lashing out at him for no reason. She had been trying to break her
pattern of projecting her anger onto others. It was true, that
Harrison could certainly inspire someone to be angry with him, but
right now she had no one to blame for any negative behavior she put
on display but herself.